Anyway. I'm procrastinating because I should have been writing an essay for the last... God knows how long. For a long time. And I'm having wild mood swings at the moment which I think are partly related to actual events in my life and partly just hormonal imbalance. Oh! And Camera Obscura are ridiculously good! I swear to God, you have to check them out. Anyway. I should really, really get on.

Thanks to everyone who commented on my previous post! Sorry it's taken me so long to say so. I seem to be failing hard at life right now. I have essays in for next week, but after that I definitely want to continue with the idea.

Anyway, maybe I'll rant a bit later. In a funk.

All right kids? I've been in London for a couple of days (I'm not from London, you know, etc), which was quite nice. Didn't know there was an American Apparel store in Covent Garden, so that was exciting (what? I have a tedious, tedious life). Ended up surfing a bestiality forum (long story) and introducing my friend to the delights of the Fleshlight.

You haven't heard of the Fleshlight? Oh, it's only THE MOST DISTURBING SEX TOY I HAVE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE. It is a silicone vagina which is supposed to look like a torch. But it doesn't. The toy itself isn't actually that offensive, it's the testimonials that terrify me. Frightening, sad guys saying things like "better than the missus!" and "maybe I should dump the g/f - no bitching, no moaning, no headaches, no hassle!". ARGH.

When I say I introduced her to it, I mean we Googled it and looked at the website; not I gave her one and she used it. Because, you know, what?!

We also went to see 27 Dresses, which was not terrible. So if you're at a loss and you feel like seeing a movie that isn't terrible, that would be one of your options. Just so you know.

God, what is wrong with me today? It's beautiful out. Think I might go down to Daphne's Handbag.

Ooh, I know what I was going to say - I did a bit of scribbling today on the train, which I'll most likely post later. So, y'know, that's something to look forward to.

( Because yes, I really am this bored... )

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So I thought I would post this:



Because I always knew those guys were slashers at heart. In addition to having had a HOMOSEXUAL AFFAIR. For serious, they are the House and Wilson of the extinct reptile world.

Had a good day today. This semester is proving to be less of a disappointment. But please don't ask me about my love life because my head will explode like a dropped melon. Kablammo. Goodbye, brains! "Goodbye, Fizz! I don't imagine you'll miss us too much!" "Damn brains, come back here and say that."

What am I talking about? I'm not even drunk, I must just have gone guano or something. Anyway, much love to all of you. I'm planning on writing something in the foreseeable future, possibly. Don't give up on me just yet.

( My life )

I know we're all sad about Heath "shirt-sniffer" Ledger, so I thought I'd post a few things that might cheer people up a bit.

Snooker/dominoes = OTP



Foodland

Adam Curtis

The lovely Paul Merton



So, cheer up, Bwian. It's not exactly Kurt Vonnegut, is it?

Had my last two exams today. Not ever, but... for a bit. They actually went really well, I think. Then I went for a drink with Flic and Dave and Flic's brother, who is very awesome. THEN, opera! Only my second opera ever - Madama Butterfly at The Grand. Cost me ten of your Earth quids for a ticket! See, there are definitely some perks to being a student. And the biggest discounts seem to be on things that the majority of students don't actually want. Which is great for me, given that I'm fairly atypical in a variety of ways. Anyway, the production was great - sung in the original Italian with surtitles, unlike bloody Falstaff. It makes such a difference. For the love of God, no more translating of libretti, it's not a good idea. I think a few people were thinking "what the hell is that bedraggled-looking punk doing at the opera?", but the hell with them.



And finally... JUNO. Who's seen Juno? More importantly, who HASN'T seen Juno? If you have, how in love are you with Ellen Page? Seriously. That woman. Loved her in Hard Candy too, but this shows another side of her. I have to say that my dykey sense is definitely tingling (that sounds far more obscene than it's meant to), but whether she'll ever actually come out is another matter. Anyway! Look!



I am in so much love. Oh, also I thought the film was utter genius, but I find it difficult to concentrate on that part.